Dear Deborah, 

Many thanks for sending SQUID-EYE SALLY'S PIRATE PRESENTS. You've got a great character in Squid-Eye Sally! That said, while the story is entertaining, there's room to increase the tension and make us really worry about the crew, and for sure, Sally. At the moment, the primary joy is coming from the fun language, rather than from the actual story being told. Part of this is that the payoff could be stronger (IMHO!). Do you have other Squid-Eye Sally stories in your holey sock that you might want to explore? At the moment I have at least one girl pirate book on board, but if you could come up with an even stronger story -- with that unexpected inevtiable ending -- I'd be happy to see what's happening with Squid-Eye Sally in the future. 

Thanks, again, for sending your work to Hen&ink.