Sunday, December 8, 2013

Love those contests

   This is my entry for Susanna Leonard Hill's holiday contest.  The challenge this year is that the story has to involve a mix-up of some sort.  Thank you, Susanna, for taking time out of your busy holiday to run this event every year!





Seriously Santa?

By Deborah Holt Williams

 

Dear Santa, Hi, remember me?

I asked you for a pet.

A goldfish or chinchilla,

That’s what I hoped I’d get.

 

But seriously Santa?

A reindeer? Really? Gee!

First he ate the ornaments

And then he ate the tree!

 

He ate the treetop angel

And the lights! Now that was shocking.

He swallowed all the garland down

And then he ate my stocking!

 

We couldn’t find a name tag.

Is he Vixen?  Is he Comet?

But when he barfed up tinsel,

I thought I’d call him Vomit.

 

So Santa, what’s your policy

On taking presents back?

 We just can’t keep this reindeer

Who eats curtains for a snack!

 

And after all that eating,

When he could munch no more,

He left a present of his own

Upon the hardwood floor.

 

You must be trying to downsize.

I guess you just don’t need him.

But gee, before you dropped him off,

How come you didn’t feed him?

 

I know you must be tired,

Too pooped to come yourself.

But please!  Come get this reindeer!

If you have to, send an elf!

 

Seriously, Santa,

Old Vomit has to go.

I tried to put him in the yard—

                                                             He doesn’t like the snow!

 

He likes it by our wood stove

With a sofa for his head.

I must admit he’s comfy

When I use him for a bed.

 

He’s helpful with the firewood,

And holds our hats and coats.

I’m sure he keeps my bedroom safe

From alien zombie goats.

 

I went on-line for reindeer chow,

I guess we’ll be OK.

He’s so cute when he’s sleeping…

So Santa, he can stay.

 

P.S. Next year I’ll leave cookies

And cocoa in the kitchen.

But promise me I won’t wake up

and find you’ve left us Blitzen!
 
 

45 comments:

  1. I love it! It's really good. Best of luck to you!

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  2. That's a hoot and a half Deborah!

    Now I must rush off and make sure that my kids write VERY specific letters to Santa! I don't need a reindeer herd in my living room. :-)

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  3. I love it! My favorite part, "I thought I'd cal him Vomit!" Ha! Good luck!

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  4. Seriously (hah) hilariously, Deb! I had such a good laugh!

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  5. Funny and charming! You did it again, Deb. Good luck & Happy Holidays! -Donna Sadd :0)

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  6. So funny! Great story and great rhyming!

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  7. Oh my goodness, Deb...this is super! Love the rollicking rhyme... and it's so funny!

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  8. This is great, Deb! So funny! I laughed out loud at the present on the floor. I must admit I was toying with the Comet/vomit rhyme for my piece, but couldn't work it in. You used it perfectly, though. And I love how the MC comes around at the end. Wonderful job!
    - Carrie F

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  9. On, Carrie, on nr, on Vivian and Marcie! On Donna, Teresa, Elaine, Cathy and Leandra! OK, doesn't rhyme, but thank you for all your encouraging words!

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  10. cute story. I like the Vomit part too.

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  11. Well done, now that's a holiday mishap! Keila

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  12. This is great, Deborah! So fun and clever. I really enjoyed it. Well done!

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  13. Haha! I love that Vomit got to stay. :)

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  14. Brilliant fun! Love how you formatted the whole poem as a letter to Santa.

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  15. Oh! Another clever story and this one is in rhyme! In a format of a letter. So cute and clever. Love this... :)

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  16. Now this one is FUN! Yes, I agree, it is a clever idea/premise.

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  17. OMG! This is fabulous, Deborah! I love it! Clever, fun, creative, original, and very entertaining! Thanks so much for a delightful entry and for joining in the holiday fun once again!

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  18. This is awesome! And the rhyme is dy-no-mite! Truly clever indeed. Thanks for sharing.

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  19. This is hysterical, Deborah! Entertaining and well rhymed. ;-}

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  20. Hilarious. Laughed out loud at vomit. Smiled to the end.

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  21. Great story. So fun and great ending!

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  22. Thank you, Darshana, cat, Cheryl, Yvonne, BLee, Michelle, Clar, Angela, Tracy, Susanna, Jackie, Jarm, Stacy and Dawn! We get so many rejections as a writer, all your nice comments are a real Christmas present!

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  23. Oh, this was such fun! And so well done, as well. LOL to Vomit. (Loved this line in particular: "He ate the treetop angel and the lights: now that was shocking." I can just see the sparks flying!)

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  24. So cute! I am going to read this to my daughter!!!

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  25. Adorable!
    Oh, and that Santa really did it...

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  26. Oh, Vomit...sweet Vomit. So funny, Deborah. And the zombie goats? Always trouble.

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  27. Oh, even the most unusual gifts are eventually appreciated!

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  28. Hilarious! At least Vomit gave you a present, too...on the hardwood floor. =)

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  29. Deborah, your story is so much fun! Totally enjoyed reading it.

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  30. Very entertaining story. I laughed out loud. Clever idea.

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  31. Thank you so much, Beth, Maureen, Mirka, Donna, Stacy, Juliana, Bridget, Wendy and Patricia!

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  32. Great story, Deborah! Santa also brought you some handmade cups from The Little Crooked Cottage. You were the winner of last week's giveaway! Don't forget to message us with your shipping info. Thanks! -The Cottagers

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  33. Thank you, cottagers--what a wonderful surprise! I've sent you my address. They will be perfect for my favorite little people, Charlie and Olivia!

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  34. LOL-
    "He left a present of his own
    Upon the hardwood floor."
    So cute! I'm glad he got to stay!

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  35. LOL!! This is great! Great pictures - I love him holding the coats.

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  36. Great job! I love the rhyme scheme! :)

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  37. Brilliant story! I LOVED it! We have a chinchilla, so I like that line. They are easy to take care of. :)

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  38. Thank you, Penny, Lauri, Martha and Erik! I really appreciate your kind words!

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  39. well worth a read, good pace and plenty of giggles. Love it. :)

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  40. Love your humor, and the change of heart that your narrator has about Vomit!

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